Contrary to Popular Belief
by EternalUnchainedMelody
Summary: "...we've never 'tweeted' each other. Not that there's anything wrong with that." A series of odd one-shots.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Contrary to Popular Belief...

**Author:** TheVampireLucinda

**Featuring:** Shawn Michaels/Triple H; Others

**Disclaimer:** Slash! Rated M because my Musi have very dirty imaginations and like bad language...Oh, and kayfabed of course.

**Summary:** "...we've never 'tweeted' each other. Not that there's anything wrong with that." Based on a promo between Shawn, Hunter and Cena on 11-9-09. A simple statement from Triple H sets the imaginations of several WWE Superstars into high gear...giving some interesting scenarios that inevitably become locker room fodder...A series of short one-shots giving glimpses into the minds of various Superstars.

_**A/N: **I'm hesitant to start another multi-chapter story (like **To Be Loved**)...so I'm on a crack-fic one-shot spree for now, and trying to finish some of my other stories that I've so shamefully neglected...My Musi have become rowdy again, so I will happily indulge them, haha. Hope you all enjoy! Oh, and I may not have said this before, but I'm always open to suggestions! I can't make any promises, but often, my best ideas come from random real-life events, or other stories. I'm grateful for our collective creativity. (smile) Also, this fic is something of a joke on myself...I mean, what's better than writing slash fiction about characters who are, in the story, writing their own slash fiction!_

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><p>"Yeah, we get it, we get it," Cena said with a shake of his head, looking at the two Superstars across from him, knowing that in only a few short days he'd be facing them both for his title in a Triple Threat Match. "You guys are best buds. You have parties, and on one else is invited. You do everything together. You two probably even Tweet each other on occasion..."<p>

"Whoa!" Triple H interrupted, reaching over Shawn Michael's shoulder to point a clarifying finger at Cena. "Contrary to popular belief, we've never Tweeted each other. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Shawn gave Cena a smile and a nod, before continuing to talk about the upcoming title match.

But the wheels in the minds of every fan and wrestler watching had already begun turning.

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><p><em>And my wheels are turning too! I've already written the next chapter...so...<em>


	2. Taker and Kane

Two chapters in one day? I haven't done that in, like, two years! I'm such a lazybones, haha.

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><p>"Well, that was pretty ballsy," Kane said with a smile as he turned off the monitor in the locker room when the segment ended.<p>

From a few feet away, the Undertaker heard the remark and raised an eyebrow. He too, had been watching the promo between the three Superstars, and was curious to find out what his little brother was getting at. Judging by the mischief that glinted in the Big Red Machine's mismatched eyes, 'Taker knew that it was, if nothing else, something worth listening to.

"Blatant?" he asked, willingly taking the bait.

Kane smirked wickedly. "Yeah, Hunter's remark; he jokes about him and Shawn not being a couple, but I'm pretty sure everyone knows that they've been together for years now."

'Taker rolled his green eyes, turning back to his locker and resuming the long task of loading his gear into his bag. "Another theory, Little Brother?" he asked sarcastically.

"It's not a theory," Kane said matter-of-factly, taking a seat on a bench closer to his older brother. "I mean, the proof is everywhere isn't it? The way they talk to each other...the DX skits...the loving glances..."

"They're _friends_, Glen; and it's none of our business anyway."

"True...but it's fun to think about, isn't it?"

Not even bothering to hide his confusion, Mark turned around, giving his younger brother a look of pure bewilderment. "What the hell are you even...?" He shook his head, raising one hand. "You know what, never mind, I don't want to know what goes on in that head of yours." He closed the locker and knelt down to zip up his bag.

Kane smiled down at the Deadman and swung his legs over the sides of the bench so that he was straddling it. As he had hoped, 'Taker looked up at him, green eyes wide with disbelief.

"The scandal of it all," the Devil's Favorite Demon intoned softly in a husky voice. "One the one hand, Shawn Michaels, the most beautiful man in professional wrestling—possibly the world—known for his do-or-die attitude and amazing heart. One the other hand, Triple H, one of the most controversial wrestlers ever with a ruthless streak that is as infamous as his good looks. The two of them together...just think about it..."

Kane glanced over to see that his brother was still giving him "the look," although he was definitely listening. He had his audience, now it was time to weave his tale.

"Imagine it, Big Bro..." he began, running a hand up the length from his knee to his thigh...

_Shawn and Hunter rush to their private bus after the match, the adrenaline from the win still coursing through their veins. Even as they stop to open the door, their lips meet once, twice, as eager hands roam over even more eager bodies._

_ "Fucking hell, Shawn," Triple H moans, as the door is forced open and their bodies go crashing to the floor, the Heartbreak Kid landing nimbly on top of his larger but younger partner._

_ "Language, Hunt," Shawn scolds, placing a searing kiss on Hunter's lips before going to work removing the Game's DX trunks. He stopped the biting, kissing and licking just long enough to admire Hunter's body. "Something about the sight of you in just knee pads, elbow pads, and boots" he whispers hotly, loosening the buckle of his tights with a single motion and sliding them off his hips..._

"You're sick!" the Undertaker interrupted, his face beginning to redden and become hot. "How the hell do you even come up with this shit so quickly?"

Kane laughed wickedly and stood up. "I'm not 'coming up' with anything, Bro. It's like I said: Those two have a history together, and I'm sure it's full of naughty little secrets...ones even better than what I can come up with..."

'Taker shook his head, at last standing up and throwing his bag over one shoulder. "Well, have fun coming up with it on your own, because I'm going back to the hotel. I don't want to have nightmares tonight."

"Nightmares?" the Big Red Machine teased, following behind the Deadman as he walked out of the locker room. "Or wet dreams?"

With a cackle, he avoided the fist that came flying towards his face.

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><p><em>Shall I continue? (wink) Basically, the one shots will be glimpses into the minds of various Superstars...they can get pretty creative, methinks...<em>

_Review?_


	3. Divas

_**A/N:** Thanks for all of your kind words! My Musi love such praise very, very much, haha... Oh! Before I forget: In an interview, Natalya admitted once that she had a crush (at least, as a kid) on Shawn Michaels! Honestly! _

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><p>"Those two are ridiculous," Beth Phoenix said with a smile as she slipped out of her ring gear, standing in front of a mirror in a simple bra and panties. "I wish I had someone to pal around like that with...I'd raise hell every night knowing I had someone like that by my side."<p>

From not too far away, Natalya Neidhart also disrobed, chuckling as she did so. "I don't know, Beth; I don't think there are many people in the world who can sustain a relationship like the one Shawn Michaels and Triple H have." She folded her arms across her muscular chest and tilted her head back so that she could look at the ceiling. "Although, I have to admit, Victoria and I had something close to it..."

"You two were lovers?" Kelly Kelly chimed in as she burst into the locker room, blue eyes sparkling. "Wow, I didn't even realize it! Are you guys still in contact? Are you going to get married?"

Nattie looked down at the younger woman with an expression stuck somewhere between confusion and distaste while Beth laughed heartily in the corner. "No, Kelly, Victoria and I were _not_ lovers...we were just close friends." She bent down to zip up her bag, when a thought occurred to her suddenly.

"Wait a minute," she mused, standing straight again. "Are you saying that Shawn and Triple H are _lovers_?"

Kelly shrunk back, more than a little intimidated by the stronger woman. "I mean...Yeah...that's what it seems like..."

Beth shook her head. "I...I can't even imagine it..."

Instantly forgetting her fear of Natalya, Kelly Kelly's eyes lit up, sparkling as she entered the cotton-candy world of her mind. "Those two are so cute together...I can imagine them now, getting back to the hotel, sharing a room together..."

_Shawn Michaels winces as he lies down on the bed, the pain in his lower back at last catching up to him again. _

_ "Does it hurt much?" Triple H asks quietly, sitting down as unobtrusively as possible on the bed. Shawn, lying on his back, smiles up at his younger partner and shakes his head, golden-brown-blond hair spread perfectly on the pillow. _

_ "It's not that bad, Hunt," he says with a genuine smile, reaching up to pull his lover down to his side. "Some sleep will take care of it, I'm sure."_

_ Hunter returns the smile and kisses his best friend and lover of several years on the forehead. "If you say so, Shawn...But if you're in any pain tomorrow, you let me know, okay?" he threatens lightly. "I have our doc on speed dial, and I'm not afraid to call him!"_

_ Shawn laughs at the caring threat and wraps his slender-yet-muscular arms around the Game. "I promise I'll let you know," he answers, pretending to be serious. "But I'd much rather have you take care of me than some quack..." With his signature smirk, he pulls Hunter's head closer and pushes it against his chest, loving the feel of his lover's breath against his skin..._

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?" Natalya interrupted, the look of confusion having never left her features. "That's so...lame!"

"Lame?" Kelly echoed, unsure of what the older woman meant. She looked over to Beth for an explanation.

The Glamazon chuckled and leaned against the lockers. "Look, Kid, I think that Nattie wants something more..." She poked at her bottom lip as she thought. "_Exciting_."

"Exciting?"

"Yes!" Nattie said emphatically. "I mean, it may start off like you say, but soon enough..."

_Hunter smiles as Shawn caresses his hair, a sound resembling a purr rumbling in the back of his throat._

_ "Shawn, I'm supposed to be comforting you...not the other way around..." he says sleepily, closing his brown eyes._

_ "Hey, speaking of things being the other way around," Shawn begins, voice still soft and soothing, hands still running through that fall of pure golden hair that he loves so much. "Who's turn is it to be on top?"_

_ The question barely registers in Triple H's mind before he feels Shawn's weight shift suddenly from his side to completely on top of him, driving some of the breath out of his lungs. "Ow, Shawn...It's my turn!" _

_ "I know," Shawn answers in a smoldering voice, placing a hot kiss on Hunter's lips. "I just don't care."_

_ "You always take my turn!" the Game whined, as Shawn begins to remove their clothing. "I only get a chance a few times a month..."_

_ The Heartbreak Kid silences the Game with a blue-eyed wink as he sits on top of him, not saying a word as he positions himself between his younger lover's legs. _

_ "It's your fault," he breathes, drawing their lips together for another kiss. "For making my back feel better by being so sweet and sexy...You're like the perfect candy." He begins to lay a trail of kisses down Triple H's neck, his chest, his stomach..._

_ Hunter chuckles, feeling his heart rate increase with every breath. "Hey...Then maybe I should be the one wearing the 'Sexy Boy' title in this relationship...Oh, and while you're down there, I've got two words for ya..." _

_ He looks down the length of his body and suddenly realizes what Shawn is about to do, brown eyes going wide with alarm as HBK straightens up and pulls him into position._

_ "No, not raw!" he manages to choke out before Shawn-_

"No more!" Kelly Kelly gasped, face blood red and heart racing as much as she imagined Hunter's was. "Shawn was really going to...to..."

"...Fuck Hunter's brains out," Beth finished with a smirk, earning an approving nod from Natalya. "Without lube either. Ouch."

Kelly shook her head, the limits of her imagination having been stretched far beyond where she had intended. "I...I think I need some water," she said in a soft voice, walking quietly from the locker room with a traumatized look on her pretty face.

When she had gone, Beth and Nattie burst into laughter, the two strong women pleased with their handiwork.

"Hey, that was pretty good...Ever think of writing a romance novel or something?" Beth asked, having finished changing into normal clothing.

"Nah," Natalya answered, buttoning up the last buttons on her shirt. "I'd much rather just write fan fiction."

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><p><em>The women have imaginations too! (laughs) Well, I guess you all know that already, haha!<em>

_Review?_


	4. Jericho and Batista

_I'm embarrassed...I wrote this part, like, 2 or 3months ago and completely forgot to post it...Sorry about that! (blushes) Anyway, for those of you who haven't done so yet, if you have a moment, please check out some of my newer stories! I'm actually writing a "serious" one! Even my Muses are a little surprised..._

_Anywho, more stupid humor from me. Enjoy! (wink) Rememer: Italics are the story their telling. A story within a story..._

_HunterMuse: We have to go deeper._

_ShawnMuse: Ficception.  
><em>

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><p>"Pure comedy gold," Chris Jericho chuckled as he turned away from the monitor, indicating Shawn Michaels and Triple H. "I swear, the WWE is going to be in a pretty damn horrible state when those two leave."<p>

From not far away, Dave Batista nodded his agreement. "Hunter and Shawn have been such a strong backbone. I think that when one of those two go, this company is going to suffer." Slowly, he began to zip up his own bag. "Of course, it's going to suffer when you or I leave, if Vince doesn't get his shit together."

"That's for damn sure," Jericho affirmed. "But, you know, Shawn and Hunter, as a unit, are like, the Spirit of the WWE...I can't see one leaving without the other, y'know?" He began to lace up his sneakers, getting ready for the long drive back to the hotel, and then, thank goodness, to home and his family. "They're like a pair of shoes; one without the other just doesn't work."

Batista scratched at his chin. "I don't know...I can see one of them leaving soon. I mean, they haven't _always_ been together..." The Animal blinked, and smacked himself on the forehead with a depreciating laugh. "But why the fuck am I talking about them like a couple? They're grown men with families, they don't 'need' each other."

Although Dave was unaware, Chris gave a nearly-inaudibly sigh as he closed his locker. "I think we all should have that special-someone here in this business...That one that keeps us going, you know? And if I'm perfectly honest with myself..." He took a quick seat on the bench, turning to face Batista as he spoke, looking down, eyes focusing on a future he believed not-too-far away. "I think I'm going to find it hard to continue in this gig when Shawn is gone."

Chris looked up at Batista, who was staring back at him with a raised eyebrow. All of a sudden, he felt embarrassment wash over him, and color rushed to his face.

"I'm not trying to say that Shawn's _mine_ or anything," Jericho backpedaled, coughing to clear his throat, becoming defensive. "I just look up to him, you know? That's all!"

Batista chuckled, shaking his head. "Hey, man, I'm not judging you or anything, trust me. Hunter was basically my...well, I'm not too sure what the hell it was, but he was something special to me when I first came into the business. I guess in a way he still is..." Now the Animal found himself blushing. "Not like him and Shawn, or anything, 'cause that shit is borderline _gay_."  
>Having successfully deflected anything potentially strange onto another party, the two men shared a laugh, relieved and now open to gossip (having now thoroughly vindicated themselves).<p>

"Seriously," Jericho laughed, "A good percentage of their DX vignettes, promos, even matches could fall into the category of 'pretty damn gay.' I wonder how the hell those two _aren't_ gay!"

Batista laughed as well, sitting on the bench near Jericho. "Hey, who knows, maybe they are and have just been hiding it! I mean, the way Shawn used to get into the ring—with the stripping and all—it's not too hard to imagine a young rooking falling for him..."

A mischievous grin crossed Y2J's face. "Yeah, I just see it now...Back in the day, maybe 1995 or so..."

_Shawn Michaels, the Heartbreak Kid, walks through the curtains, facing the ring with jovial blue eyes. If there had been an audience, they would have been going wild; as it stands, the arena is empty. HBK had decided earlier to go for a quick warm up before the show tonight, and now he is alone in the arena, dressed in his infamous tiny bike shorts and white tank top, golden hair flying freely behind him as he run down to the ring._

_ At least, he _thought_ he was alone._

Unable to contain himself, Batista laughed into his hand. "Damn, Chris, sounds like the opening to some weird porno..." He shook his head again, large hands resting against his legs as he began to think. "That's a pretty good start though."

"Why, thank you," Chris snickered with a seated mock-bow. "Your turn."

Batista shrugged, trying to sound as disinterested as possible.

_"This is the perfect time for a warm up," Hunter Hearst Helmsley whispers to himself as he slips into his wrestling trunks, thinking that the arena was empty. _

_ However, the moment he runs through the curtains, he notices Shawn Michaels in the ring, stretching as provocatively as only the Heartbreak Kid can, and freezes in his tracks._

_ "Shit," he hisses, turning to leave._

_ Too late. Out of the corner of his eye, Shawn catches the movement, and now is leaning against the ropes. "Hey, wait! Wanna warm up together?" He smiles his signature smile and tosses his golden-brown-blond hair back over his shoulder. "It's been a while since I've had a decent match after all..."_

Y2J rubbed his hands together. "Oh, this is getting good," he said excitedly, his imagination already spinning a tale all on its own...

_"A good match?" Hunter asks, skeptical of the older man's kindness. "I haven't even had a chance to prove myself yet here."_

_ Shawn laughs. "Bullshit, I can tell that you're talented from here, now get your round ass in the ring with me! I haven't got all day."_

_ Turning a slight shade of red, Hunter approaches the ring, climbing in under the bottom rope. The moment he gets in, however, a flash of pain jolts him as Shawn drops an elbow right on his back._

_ "Ow!" Hunter yells, standing up angrily, rubbing his injured muscle. "What the hell man?"_

_ Shawn laughs wickedly. "Just trying to fire you up," he explains, bouncing comically on his heels as though in a boxing match. "In all honesty, I was aiming for you butt...No clue how I missed that huge target. Maybe I should aim for your nose next time."_

_ Hunter shakes his head, somewhere between laughter, confusion and annoyance. "You keep talking like that, Michaels, and your ass will be mine..."_

_ Completely throwing the younger man off his guard, the Heartbreak Kid gives him a sexy smile and beckons him to come to him with one finger. _

_ "I was hoping you'd say that."_

"Damn," Dave interrupted, wiping a thin sheen a sweat from his forehead, hoping that Jericho didn't see the motion. "You're good at this."

Chris gave him a mock-seductive grin. "Shall I continue?"

_Within minutes, Hunter finds himself out of breath as the smaller man literally dances out of some of his best moves._

_ "Dammit, Shawn!" the Connecticut Blue Blood chuckles between intakes of air. "Stop making me laugh when we fight!"_

_ The Heartbreak Kid smiles and comes near to the younger wrestler, who drops to one knee to better catch his breath. "I can't help it, it's how I operate. You're going to need a few tricks of your own, kid."_

_ Hunter mumbles something under his breath, but it was inaudible. Shawn comes closer in order to hear. _

_ "What'd you say?" he asks, standing over the still-downed man._

_ "I said," Hunter answers with a wicked grin hidden by long blond hair, "That I already have a few tricks!"_

_ Without warning, he grabs one of Shawn's legs, rolling so that he pulls the more experienced man down to the canvas. Before Shawn can get away, Hunter pins him, sitting on HBK's hips, holding the older man's wrists above his head._

_ "Ha!" he laughs triumphantly. "I got you, finally!"_

_ Though at first surprised, and a little angry, Shawn laughs as well. "Yeah, you got me..." His blues eyes locked onto Hunter's brown ones. "You got me, so what are you going to do with me?"_

_ With several blinks, Hunter suddenly realizes what an amazing position he's in._

_ "God damn," he whispers, and without another world leans down and places a heated, hasty kiss on Shawn Michaels' perfect lips. He had no idea what it was about this man that was so damn enticing, but he realizes right away that there's no way he's going to be able to stop..._

"Hey, have you guys seen my bag? I think I left it in here..." Triple H interrupted as he came barging into the locker room.

Jericho's mouth literally snapped shut, causing him to wince as he accidentally bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood. Batista, who had been secretly enjoying the whole story, now looked guiltily away from Hunter as he looked for his bag. Both men wore deep crimson blushes on their faces, which, thankfully, the Game took no notice of.

"Oh, there it is," he said to himself, grabbing the duffel from the floor. "Thanks guys, see you tomorrow!" With a wave, he shut the door on his way out.

The moment he was gone, the Animal and the King of the World turned to one another.

"I...don't think he heard any of that," Jericho said after a long moment. Batista nodded.

"Definitely not. Trust me, if he had heard you, you'd still be trying to find your tongue."

Y2J shuddered, rubbing the backs of his arms. "That was a close one...I think I'm done for the night." His smile returned somewhat as he stood. "Although...That was kinda fun."

Dave laughed and stood as well. "Yeah, it is entertaining...Makes me understand our crazy fans a bit better, really."

"Crazy fans?"

"Yeah, you know, the ones who write fanfiction about us..."

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><p><em>I can't help but poke fun at myself sometimes, haha. XP<em>

_Review? Oh, and I think the next chapter is our favorite big stoic scary-guy..._

_TakerMuse: Why am I suddenly cold?_


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